Tammy Ronkowitz
There are two forms of communication verbal and non-verbal. This paper will focus on the Understanding non-verbal communication (body language) and how it is as important, if not more important as verbal communication. What I will prove with this paper is that people actions are more powerful than their words. When coaching students that come to the writing center for help, they come to the center with different learning levels. These students all have one thing in common and that’s the ability to feel comfortable. The best way to achieve the comfort level is nonverbal clues. A student that is comfortable will be more eager to learn.
While collecting data during several coaching sessions, my focused on both the student and the coach. I wanted to understand how body language progressed or digressed a session? First I watched the student and how their body language got the coach to react. Observation One background: The student was a “drop in” looking for help with an assignment on how to make a lesson plan for fourth grade. The student had their lesson topic, and what was needed to create the lesson plan, but only wanted the answers and did not care about the meaning of words, examples: observation, materials, objective and etc. Observation One: The student started to rub their hand and twist their pen between their fingers. Then the student became uncomfortable and moved back and forth in their chair. The student started to rub their hands…rubbing of the hands usually means expecting something good to occur, when nothing did… twirling may be a comforting action for a child who is tense and anxious, and may become habitual later in life in stressful situations. A simple smile from the coach may help with the tense and nervous student, building a feeling of trust. The student used verbal communication to the coach saying “uh-huh” acting as if they understood what the coach was saying, but the student’s blank stare and rapid blinking of the eyes indicated that her verbal communication was just to please the coach. Thankfully it was very clear to the coach that the student didn’t want to say that they didn’t understand and the coach leaned closer to the student and re-explained the students focus. The coach spoke softly and tried to get the student engaged and feeling more comfortable. The student still could not get comfortable and kept swallowing and nodding waiting for the next response from the coach. The coach tried to help the student get comfortable and even asked the student if the student was cold, because the student was shaking in their chair. The student was there to get the poor unknowing coach to give the students the answers to their questions on the hand out. When this was identified by the coach, the coach asked the student to try the next one on their own. As soon as the coach suggested this the student crossed their arms across their chest and pouted in their chair. This action, Arms folded tightly across the chess that person maybe threating to leave. This is a nervous and defensive attitude. Where to go from here? The coach then, again help…more like gave the student the answers to finish the session. One the student realized they could over power the coach the student brought out a new assignment and the cycle continued again.
In this session body language was evident and it was used to control the coach. The coach seemed to be bullied by the student’s actions. The only verbal communication that wasn’t interrupted by the student was the coach giving the answers. Every time the coach wanted to explain a term that was used the student said “I KNOW” and waited for the coach to give the answer. The student’s body language was even more defensive then their tone. “Studies have found that nonverbal cues have more than four times the impact on the impression you make than anything you say”(Goman,163). Since the coach was over powered by the student verbally and non-verbally communication skills, the coach just gave the student what they wanted… the answer and nothing else. The student achieved their goal in getting the work done but missed out on a chance to understand the assignment.
My Second Observation Background: I wanted to focus on coaches’ body language and how it affects the student that they have not worked with before. The student had a graded assignment that they wanted to go over to see how the assignment could have been improved. Observation Two: The Coach and student were sitting close together working on a description and interruption project. The student was to review a small coaching session and talk about cause and effect. The student was focused on how happy the mock actor was. The coach asked “how did you know the person was happy”? The coach continued, “You need to describe what clues were used to how the mock student was happy”. Then the coach suggested that they should watch the movie again. The student did not want to watch the movie because they have seen it too many times already. The coach said well then what you should say is… that the mock student appeared to be happy instead of saying the student was happy. This was a paper that was already graded but the student wanted to understand what they might do to get a better grade. The coach smiled and they both laughed about how word placement makes a big difference in writing. The smile the coach gave was reassurance to the student which lightened up the mood. The coach continued to read the paper which was on the student’s laptop. The coach opened and closed their hands while thinking about what the student was trying to say. While observing this I could tell the coach was trying to think about what he/she was going to say. The coach then suggested that the student should take apart each paragraph and make each one more detailed. The coach didn’t just leave it at that, they continued with explaining that if the student would isolate each paragraph forcing each paragraph to stand on its own. Then again the coach asked if they could revert back to the video so they could do this exercise, but the student did not want too, at all. I coach picked up on the defiance that was being communicated thought the students body language. The student leaned back in the chair and crossed their arms saying they were closed to this topic. The coach handled it very well and read the signs. The coach leaned in and gave a smile, and said “I understand you have seen the video too much and don’t want to watch it again…I get that, and then she laughed.” The student smirked and leaned forward again showing they were ready to communicate again. The student wanted to continue talking about their writing skills and focus on the conclusion of the paper. The coach said that they would love to see the film, but I know that’s not what the student wanted, so the coach would go on instinct. The coach started to twirl their hair with his/ her pointer finger and sat for a few moments re-reading the paper again. The coach gave information on detail and found a few grammatical errors. The student seemed to be pleased because they were smiling and interacting with the coach’s comments. The student got up to leave and turned around and thanked the coach two times…indicating that they were pleased with the session.
This session seemed to go in favorer of the coach because the coach had a positive body language and took control of the time they spent together. The one crustal point where the coach almost lost control was when the student became defiant. The coach picked up on the body language and took control again with leaning in close and creating a friendly atmosphere, with a simple smile. The coach also was very articulate with their words and took the time to think before he/she spoke. The coach let their fingers speak for them, showing the students that they were there to help and didn’t just say what the student wanted to hear. The coach used trust in her communication by “closing the distance between you rather than increasing it”( Morgan, 74).
two new cites:
and
Trust me by Morgan, Nick
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