Students Can Lie with their Tongue but their Body is another Story…paper still

Students Can Lie with their Tongue but their Body is another Story…

There are two forms of communication verbal and non-verbal. This

paper will focus on the Understanding non-verbal communication (body

language) and how it is just as important as verbal communication. What I

will prove with this paper is that people actions are more powerful than

their words. Students and Coaches can lie with their tongue but their body

language will tell the real truth. “In certain situations, you can tell a

lie not by what you hear, but what you see. A Person’s physical movements

will give him/her away every time. Just like the human eye, every movement

has a reason backed up behind it. If you can read body language, you will

gain the upper hand in any confrontation. The liar will not know he is

giving himself away by making certain body movements, because they are all

done subconsciously. The subconscious mind is a powerful part of your

brain that the average person under estimates. A lot of the movements you

make are orchestrated by the subconscious mind” (humanliedetection).

I am not saying that everyone that comes to the writing center looking to

lie, but I have observed communication between the coach and the student

be manipulated though body language, either by the coach or the student.

My focused is based on both the student and the coach. I wanted to

understand how body language progressed or digressed a session? First I

watched the student and how their body language got the coach to react. O

Observation One background: The student was a “drop in” looking for help

with an assignment on how to make a lesson plan for fourth grade. The

student had their lesson topic, and what was needed to create the lesson

plan, but only wanted the answers and did not care about the meaning of

words, examples: observation, materials, objective and etc. When coaching

students that come to the writing center for help, they come to the center

with different learning levels. These students all have one thing in

common and that’s the ability to feel comfortable. The best way to achieve

the comfort level is nonverbal clues. A student that is comfortable will

be more eager to learn.


Observation notes: (Couch and Student have not work together before and

the coach was a less experience coach). Before the session even began the

student started to rub their hand and twist their pen between their

fingers. Then the student became uncomfortable and moved back and forth in

their chair. The student started to rub their hands…rubbing of the hands

usually means expecting something good to occur, when nothing did…

twirling may be a comforting action for a child who is tense and anxious,

and may become habitual later in life in stressful situations. A simple

smile from the coach may help with the tense and nervous student, building

a feeling of trust. The student used verbal communication to the coach

saying “uh-huh” acting as if they understood what the coach was saying,

but the student’s blank stare and rapid blinking of the eyes indicated

that her verbal communication was just to please the coach. “Eyes maintain

little or no eye contact, or there may be rapid eye movements, with pupils

constricted” is a clear sign of lying (mindtools). Thankfully it was very

clear to the coach that the student didn’t want to say that they didn’t

understand and the coach leaned closer to the student and re-explained the

students focus. “When people are closer, it is easier to communicate with

them” (changingminds). The coach spoke softly and tried to get the student

engaged and feeling more comfortable. The student still could not get

comfortable and kept swallowing and nodding waiting for the next response

from the coach. The coach tried to help the student get comfortable and

even asked the student if the student was cold, because the student was

shaking in their chair. The student was there to get the poor unknowing

coach to give the students the answers to their questions on the hand out.

When this was identified by the coach, the coach asked the student to try

the next one on their own. As soon as the coach suggested this the student

crossed their arms across their chest and pouted in their chair. This

action, Arms folded tightly across the chess that person maybe threating

to leave. This is a nervous and defensive attitude. Where to go from here?

The coach then, again help…more like gave the student the answers to

finish the session. One the student realized they could over power the

coach the student brought out a new assignment and the cycle continued

again.

In this session body language was evident and it was used to control the

coach. The coach seemed to be bullied by the student’s actions. The only

verbal communication that wasn’t interrupted by the student was the coach

giving the answers. Every time the coach wanted to explain a term that was

used the student said “I KNOW” and waited for the coach to give the

answer. The student’s body language was even more defensive then their

tone. “Studies have found that nonverbal cues have more than four times

the impact on the impression you make than anything you say”(Goman,163).

Since the coach was over powered by the student verbally and non-verbally

communication skills, the coach just gave the student what they wanted…

the answer and nothing else. The student achieved their goal in getting

the work done, but missed out on a chance to understand the assignment.


On the surface the student was satisfied with the outcome of the session;

she left with a smile on her face with both assignments done. There are

three key things I am looking for comprehension, comfort, and the

understanding of body language for both the student and coach. There was

no comprehension of the assignment on the students’ part, and for the

coach, after talking to her once the student left felt, she felt nothing

was achieved and even felt a little betrayed. There was no sign of

comfort level for either the coach or the student, once the session was

over; it was over, no thank you or acknowledgement that the session even

ended. Once the students’ homework was completed the student got up and

just left. Body language and verbal negativity was very clearly used by

the student.


My Second Observation Background: I wanted to focus on coaches’ body

language and how it affects the student that they have not worked with

before, this coach has had many hours of experience logged in at the

writing center. The student had a graded assignment that they wanted to go

over to see how the assignment could have been improved. Observation Two:

The Coach and student were sitting close together working on a description

and interruption project. The student was to review a small coaching

session and talk about cause and effect. The student was focused on how

happy the mock actor was. The coach asked “how did you know the person was

happy”? The coach continued, “You need to describe what clues were used to

how the mock student was happy”. Then the coach suggested that they should

watch the movie again. The student did not want to watch the movie because

they have seen it too many times already. The coach said well then what

you should say is… that the mock student appeared to be happy instead of

saying the student was happy. This was a paper that was already graded but

the student wanted to understand what they might do to get a better grade.

The coach smiled and they both laughed about how word placement makes a

big difference in writing. The smile the coach gave was reassurance to the

student which lightened up the mood. “It may sound silly, but there is a

lot of power associated with a smile” (lifecoachingstudio). The coach

continued to read the paper which was on the student’s laptop. The coach

opened and closed their hands while thinking about what the student was

trying to say. While observing this I could tell the coach was trying to

think about what he/she was going to say. The coach then suggested that

the student should take apart each paragraph and make each one more

detailed. The coach didn’t just leave it at that, they continued with

explaining that if the student would isolate each paragraph forcing each

paragraph to stand on its own. Then again the coach asked if they could

revert back to the video so they could do this exercise, but the student

did not want too, at all. I coach picked up on the defiance that was being

communicated thought the students body language. The student leaned back

in the chair and crossed their arms saying they were closed to this topic.

The coach handled it very well and read the signs. The coach leaned in and

gave a smile, and said “I understand you have seen the video too much and

don’t want to watch it again…I get that, and then she laughed.” The

student smirked and leaned forward again showing they were ready to

communicate again. The student wanted to continue talking about their

writing skills and focus on the conclusion of the paper. The coach said

that they would love to see the film, but I know that’s not what the

student wanted, so the coach would go on instinct. The coach started to

twirl their hair with his/ her pointer finger and sat for a few moments re-

reading the paper again. “Hair-twirling is a sign of incompetence and

uncertainty” ( cba.uni.edu).The coach gave information on detail and found

a few grammatical errors. The student seemed to be pleased because they

were smiling and interacting with the coach’s comments. The student got up

to leave and turned around and thanked the coach two times…indicating that

they were pleased with the session.


This session seemed to go in favorer of the coach because the coach had a

positive body language and took control of the time they spent together.

The one crustal point where the coach almost lost control was when the

student became defiant. The coach picked up on the body language and took

control again with leaning in close and creating a friendly atmosphere,

with a simple smile. The coach also was very articulate with their words

and took the time to think before he/she spoke. The coach let their

fingers speak for them, showing the students that they were there to help

and didn’t just say what the student wanted to hear. The coach used trust

in her communication by “closing the distance between you rather than

increasing it” (Morgan, 74).

Where the three key points covered in this session? First, I observed

comprehension for both the student and the student. They both seemed to be

satisfied with the outcome. The student gained the knowledge that he was

looking for, while the coach also seemed to comprehend her own body

language and how it related to the student. How I know this is I talked to

the coach after the session and she asked if she could see my notes. We

talked about the different clues that I picked up on. The ones that she

was aware that she was doing, and the once she wasn’t aware of. Both the

student and coach seemed to be comfortable with each other. When there

seemed to have some signs of discomfort the coach took control of the

situation and created a more ‘lightened’ environment with the use of a

simple smile. Body language was used by both the student and the coach.

I found when the student exhibited a negative body language reaction the

coach would counter it with a positive one, generating a more encouraging

environment to learn. This was a very positive session for both the

student and the coach.

The next observation I wanted to focus on is students and coaches that

have worked together before, and if this make a difference.

Background: student writing an observation an interaction of a four year

old that he/she observed in a preschool environment. The student and the c


coach have worked together.


The coach and the student seemed to be comfortable with each other and

they have worked together before. The setting was in the front room and

not at a table. The coach asked the student to read her observation out

loud and had to several time ask the student to speak up. The student

wrote her observation on his/her laptop. The student had to try and

balance the laptop on the arm rest of the chair while the coach was

leaning over to see the screen. The coach was sitting with her elbow on

the arm rest and her chin in her palm, with her fingers curled to her

face. The student started to ask if the coach was tiered but the coach

replied no. The student continues to read what laptop was on his/her while

the coach tried to listen. I saw the coach be distracted by the phone

ringing and people walking by the window. When the student picked up on a

problem with her observation the coach helped his/her make the correction

(grammar). Then the student started to read and the coaches’ eyes closed.

The student looked up and said are you sure you’re not tiered and the

coach replied no again just listening to you read. The student continued

and there was a flow problem with the next paragraph that neither the

coach nor the student picked up on. I wanted to say something but

couldn’t. The next few line the coach did pick up on another mistake and

asked the student to read it again. The student did and still did not pick

up on the problem. The coach said come on you know this and told the

student to give it one more try. The student did but still did not see the

problem. The coach asked me if I could tell where the problem was , but I

also did not pick it up, since I could not see the laptop from where I was

sitting. The coach then said see how you are pausing when you read the

sentence between this word and that what does that tell you> the student

thought about it for a few seconds and said I don’t know. The coach then

tapped the student on the shoulder and said you need a comma there. The

two laughed and the student said see that’s why I come here. The student

move around in his/her sits and started to read again. The coach tried to

see what was on the laptop but couldn’t because the student moved and the

glare from the lights where effecting the coaches vision. The coach didn’t

ask the student to move back so they could see instead the coach just

closed their eyes again. I was wondering how the coach was going to pick

up another comma or spelling mistake if they couldn’t see. The phone rings

again for the fourth time and the coach perks up and moves the laptop so

she could see. I know that they are friendly but the coach might have

asked instead of just grabbing it. Then a few more errors were picked up

and the observation was complete. The student then tells the coach a story

about why he/she always wants to work with this coach. They talk about the

coaches’ name and how if the student would have had a child their child

would have this coach’s name. Then they talk about how they both lost

their mothers to diabetes and how they need to work together to get

healthy. Once the proof read was over the two became very chatty and

animated, it did not seem like the same two people 20 min. before.