Students Can Lie with their Tongue but their Body is another Story…
There are two forms of communication verbal and non-verbal. This paper will focus on the Understanding non-verbal communication (body language) and how it is just as important as verbal communication. What I will prove with this paper is that people actions are more powerful than their words. Students and Coaches can lie with their tongue but their body language will tell the real truth.
“In certain situations, you can tell a lie not by what you hear, but what you see. A Person’s physical movements will give him/her away every time. Just like the human eye, every movement has a reason backed up behind it. If you can read body language, you will gain the upper hand in any confrontation. The liar will not know he is giving himself away by making certain body movements, because they are all done subconsciously. The subconscious mind is a powerful part of your brain that the average person under estimates. A lot of the movements you make are orchestrated by the subconscious mind” (humanliedetection).
I am not saying that everyone that comes to the writing center looking to lie, but I have observed communication between the coach and the student be manipulated though body language, either by the coach or the student. My focused is based on both the student and the coach. I wanted to understand how body language progressed or digressed a session? First I watched the student and how their body language got the coach to react.
Method: My Research was prepared at Kean University’s writing center through several coaching sessions. Before I could being my observations, I made sure that both the student and coach were aware that I was conducting an observation for an English class assignment. I did not want the coach or the student to be aware of what I was looking for because I was afraid it may change their body language during their session. The data that I have gathered through my observations will be used to provide information to support my theory.
Observation One background: The student was a “drop in” looking for help with an assignment on how to make a lesson plan for fourth grade. The student had their lesson topic, and what was needed to create the lesson plan, but only wanted the answers and did not care about the meaning of words, examples: observation, materials, objective and etc. When coaching students that come to the writing center for help, they come to the center with different learning levels. These students all have one thing in common and that’s the ability to feel comfortable. The best way to achieve the comfort level is nonverbal clues. A student that is comfortable will be more eager to learn.
Observation notes: (Couch and Student have not work together before and the coach was a less experience coach). Before the session even began the student started to rub their hand and twist their pen between their fingers. Then the student became uncomfortable and moved back and forth in their chair. The student started to rub their hands…rubbing of the hands usually means expecting something good to occur, when nothing did… twirling may be a comforting action for a child who is tense and anxious, and may become habitual later in life in stressful situations. A simple smile from the coach may help with the tense and nervous student, building a feeling of trust. The student used verbal communication to the coach saying “uh-huh” acting as if they understood what the coach was saying, but the student’s blank stare and rapid blinking of the eyes indicated that her verbal communication was just to please the coach. “Eyes maintain little or no eye contact, or there may be rapid eye movements, with pupils constricted” is a clear sign of lying (mindtools). Thankfully it was very clear to the coach that the student didn’t want to say that they didn’t understand and the coach leaned closer to the student and re-explained the students focus. “When people are closer, it is easier to communicate with them” (changingminds). The coach spoke softly and tried to get the student engaged and feeling more comfortable. The student still could not get comfortable and kept swallowing and nodding waiting for the next response from the coach. The coach tried to help the student get comfortable and even asked the student if the student was cold, because the student was shaking in their chair. The student was there to get the poor unknowing coach to give the students the answers to their questions on the hand out. When this was identified by the coach, the coach asked the student to try the next one on their own. As soon as the coach suggested this the student crossed their arms across their chest and pouted in their chair. This action, Arms folded tightly across the chess that person maybe threating to leave. This is a nervous and defensive attitude. Where to go from here? The coach then, again help…more like gave the student the answers to finish the session. One the student realized they could over power the coach the student brought out a new assignment and the cycle continued again.
In this session body language was evident and it was used to control the coach. The coach seemed to be bullied by the student’s actions. The only verbal communication that wasn’t interrupted by the student was the coach giving the answers. Every time the coach wanted to explain a term that was used the student said “I KNOW” and waited for the coach to give the answer. The student’s body language was even more defensive then their tone. “Studies have found that nonverbal cues have more than four times the impact on the impression you make than anything you say”(Goman,163). Since the coach was over powered by the student verbally and non-verbally communication skills, the coach just gave the student what they wanted… the answer and nothing else. The student achieved their goal in getting the work done, but missed out on a chance to understand the assignment.
Findings from Observation One:
On the surface the student was satisfied with the outcome of the session; she left with a smile on her face with both assignments done. There are three key things I am looking for comprehension, comfort, and the understanding of body language for both the student and coach. There was no comprehension of the assignment on the students’ part, and for the coach, after talking to her once the student left felt, she felt nothing was achieved and even felt a little betrayed. There was no sign of comfort level for either the coach or the student, once the session was over; it was over, no thank you or acknowledgement that the session even ended. Once the students’ homework was completed the student got up and just left. Body language and verbal negativity was very clearly used by the student.
My Second Observation Background: I wanted to focus on coaches’ body language and how it affects the student that they have not worked with before, this coach has had many hours of experience logged in at the writing center.
My Second Observation notes: he student had a graded assignment that they wanted to go over to see how the assignment could have been improved. Observation Two: The Coach and student were sitting close together working on a description and interruption project. The student was to review a small coaching session and talk about cause and effect. The student was focused on how happy the mock actor was. The coach asked “how did you know the person was happy”? The coach continued, “You need to describe what clues were used to how the mock student was happy”. Then the coach suggested that they should watch the movie again. The student did not want to watch the movie because they have seen it too many times already. The coach said well then what you should say is… that the mock student appeared to be happy instead of saying the student was happy. This was a paper that was already graded but the student wanted to understand what they might do to get a better grade. The coach smiled and they both laughed about how word placement makes a big difference in writing. The smile the coach gave was reassurance to the student which lightened up the mood. “It may sound silly, but there is a lot of power associated with a smile” (lifecoachingstudio). The coach continued to read the paper which was on the student’s laptop. The coach opened and closed their hands while thinking about what the student was trying to say. While observing this I could tell the coach was trying to think about what he/she was going to say. The coach then suggested that the student should take apart each paragraph and make each one more detailed. The coach didn’t just leave it at that, they continued with explaining that if the student would isolate each paragraph forcing each paragraph to stand on its own. Then again the coach asked if they could revert back to the video so they could do this exercise, but the student did not want too, at all. I coach picked up on the defiance that was being communicated thought the students body language. The student leaned back in the chair and crossed their arms saying they were closed to this topic. The coach handled it very well and read the signs. The coach leaned in and gave a smile, and said “I understand you have seen the video too much and don’t want to watch it again…I get that, and then she laughed.” The student smirked and leaned forward again showing they were ready to communicate again. The student wanted to continue talking about their writing skills and focus on the conclusion of the paper. The coach said that they would love to see the film, but I know that’s not what the student wanted, so the coach would go on instinct. The coach started to twirl their hair with his/ her pointer finger and sat for a few moments re-reading the paper again. “Hair-twirling is a sign of incompetence and uncertainty” ( cba.uni.edu).The coach gave information on detail and found a few grammatical errors. The student seemed to be pleased because they were smiling and interacting with the coach’s comments. The student got up to leave and turned around and thanked the coach two times…indicating that they were pleased with the session.
Findings from Observation Two:
This session seemed to go in favorer of the coach because the coach had a positive body language and took control of the time they spent together. The one crustal point where the coach almost lost control was when the student became defiant. The coach picked up on the body language and took control again with leaning in close and creating a friendly atmosphere, with a simple smile. The coach also was very articulate with their words and took the time to think before he/she spoke. The coach let their fingers speak for them, showing the students that they were there to help and didn’t just say what the student wanted to hear. The coach used trust in her communication by “closing the distance between you rather than increasing it” (Morgan, 74).
Where the three key points covered in this session? First, I observed comprehension for both the student and the student. They both seemed to be satisfied with the outcome. The student gained the knowledge that he was looking for, while the coach also seemed to comprehend her own body language and how it related to the student. How I know this is I talked to the coach after the session and she asked if she could see my notes. We talked about the different clues that I picked up on. The ones that she was aware that she was doing, and the once she wasn’t aware of. Both the student and coach seemed to be comfortable with each other. When there seemed to have some signs of discomfort the coach took control of the situation and created a more ‘lightened’ environment with the use of a simple smile. Body language was used by both the student and the coach. I found when the student exhibited a negative body language reaction the coach would counter it with a positive one, generating a more encouraging environment to learn. This was a very positive session for both the student and the coach.
My Third Observation Background: I wanted to focus on is students and coaches that have worked together before and if this making a difference in.
Background: student writing an observation an interaction of a four year old that he/she observed in a preschool environment. The student and the coach have worked together.
My Third Observation notes: The coach and the student seemed to be comfortable with each other and they have worked together before. The setting was in the front room and not at a table. The coach asked the student to read her observation out loud and had to several time ask the student to speak up. The student wrote her observation on his/her laptop. The student had to try and balance the laptop on the arm rest of the chair while the coach was leaning over to see the screen. The coach was sitting with her elbow on the arm rest and her chin in her palm, with her fingers curled to her face. The student started to ask if the coach was tiered but the coach replied no. The student continues to read what laptop was on his/her while the coach tried to listen. I saw the coach be distracted by the phone ringing and people walking by the window. When the student picked up on a problem with her observation the coach helped his/her make the correction (grammar). Then the student started to read and the coaches’ eyes closed. The student looked up and said are you sure you’re not tiered and the coach replied no again just listening to you read. The student continued and there was a flow problem with the next paragraph that neither the coach nor the student picked up on. I wanted to say something but couldn’t. The next few line the coach did pick up on another mistake and asked the student to read it again. The student did and still did not pick up on the problem. The coach said come on you know this and told the student to give it one more try. The student did but still did not see the problem. The coach asked me if I could tell where the problem was, but I also did not pick it up, since I could not see the laptop from where I was sitting. The coach then said see how you are pausing when you read the sentence between this word and that what does that tell you> the student thought about it for a few seconds and said I don’t know. The coach then tapped the student on the shoulder and said you need a comma there. The two laughed and the student said see that’s why I come here. The student move around in his/her sits and started to read again. The coach tried to see what was on the laptop but couldn’t because the student moved and the glare from the lights where effecting the coaches vision. The coach didn’t ask the student to move back so they could see instead the coach just closed their eyes again. I was wondering how the coach was going to pick up another comma or spelling mistake if they couldn’t see. The phone rings again for the fourth time and the coach perks up and moves the laptop so she could see. I know that they are friendly but the coach might have asked instead of just grabbing it. Then a few more errors were picked up and the observation was complete. The student then tells the coach a story about why he/she always wants to work with this coach. They talk about the coaches’ name and how if the student would have had a child their child would have this coach’s name. Then they talk about how they both lost their mothers to diabetes and how they need to work together to get healthy. Once the proof read was over the two became very chatty and animated, it did not seem like the same two people 20 min. before.
Findings from Observation Three: One of the first things that I found was that the setting seemed to be uncomfortable for both the student and the coach. The two has worked in the front room with a laptop and no table. The coach and the student were sitting in two different arm chairs. The glare from the lights above made it difficult for the coach to read the information on the students’ laptop. The environment created difficulties as I said for the coach to see, so the coach asked the student to read what she wrote aloud. When the student was reading the coach closed her eyes indicating to the student that she was not interested and tiered.
“Listening is anything but a passive, neutral activity. While it may appear that this is all that's going on, many active processes are taking place within the listener--if they're listening well, that is. You see, listening is not just hearing the words people utter. If that's all there was to it, we could train computers to do the job” (stresscure.com).
There are three key things I am looking for comprehension, comfort, and the understanding of body language for both the student and coach.
The student and the coach both had the same comprehension level to learning, and because they have worked with each other’s many times they could read each other’s tells. The feeling that the coach wasn’t paying attention to the student was clear because the student felt comfortable with the coach and was able to express themselves without feeling discourteous. They body language was instinct and they copied one another once the session was over, however during the coaching session they was very little interaction.
My fourth and final observation background:
My fourth and final observation:
Findings from Observation Four:
Conclusions:
With the data that I provided my belief that body language is a key factor in learning; I was able to prove my theory is correct. However body language cannot stand alone, the students and coaches need the proper learning environment, to insure comfort. The coach and student also need to be able to comprehend the task at hand. Incorporating observation of body language while assisting (by the coach), and or learning (by the student) helps create a better learning experience. Coaches should be aware for the three easements before, during and concluding a session…comprehension, comfort, and the understanding of body language.
**Based on the fact that my research was only conducted over a short period of time additional
research necessary.
Resources:
http://www.stresscure.com/relation/7keys.html Mort Orman, M.D. Copyright ©1995-2010 M.C. Orman, MD, FLP.
http://www.humanliedetection.com/BodyLanguageOfLiars.php
http://www.docstoc.com/docs/894740/Body-Language-Hand-and-Arms-Gestures
http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/Body_Language.htm
http://www.speechmastery.com/public-speaking-gestures.html
http://changingminds.org/techniques/body/body_language.htm
http://www.nosweatpublicspeaking.com/non-verbal-communication-element-2facial-expressions/Body language: (Improve your body language, improve your confidence!): http://www.lifecoachingstudio.com/pcb2.htm
Interpersonal Distances from Various Categories of Interaction: http://www.cba.uni.edu/buscomm/nonverbal/Body%20Language.htm
http://montgomeryschoolsmd.org/departments/studentaffairs/pdf/sa/resources/communications/bodylang.pdf
Hansen, J. Teaching Without Talking. Phi Delta Kappan v. 92 no. 1 (September 2010) p. 35-40 (Wilson Web)
Students' Perceptions of Characteristics of Effective College Teachers: A Validity Study of a Teaching Evaluation Form Using a Mixed-Methods Analysis
Anthony J. Onwuegbuzie, Ann E. Witcher, Kathleen M. T. Collins, Janet D. Filer, Cheryl D. Wiedmaier, Chris W. Moore American Educational Research Journal, Vol. 44, No. 1 (Mar., 2007), pp. 113-160
50 Ways to Improve Student Behavior: Simple Solutions to Complex Challenges Breaux, Annette; Whitaker, Todd Eye on Education; 141pp. Dec 2010.
... Discover the Beams of Their Dreams; (45) Work that Body Language!; (46) No Rest for the Weary; (47) A Little Guilt Trip Goes a Long Way; (48) Teach Them to Cope or They'll Create a Way!; (49) Listen, Listen, Listen!; and (50) Only a Fool ... Accession Number: ED509817
Augmentative & Alternative Communication Murphy, PattiExceptional Parent; v37 n8 p48-51 Aug 2007
... feelings when getting a message across through speech or body language is not an option. Variations of such ingredients are working well for two Florida families in unique places on their communication journeys. Their stories are presented. Accession Number: EJ771953
Teen Success! Ideas to Move Your Mind. (2nd Edition)Elye, Beatrice J.Great Potential Press, Inc.; 240pp. 2007.
... Listening and Speaking; (12) Communication Beyond Words: Body Language and Appearance; (13) Organizing Meetings: Like Herding Cats; (14) Public Speaking: Doh! Do I Have To?; (15) Determination and Persistence: Overcoming Obstacles and Difficulties; ... Accession Number: ED510193
No comments:
Post a Comment